Daniel Anderson
When it comes to fatherhood – or maybe really any topic – Carlos Barron makes it abundantly clear that he does not have all the answers.
“I don’t know what the next era is,” he said. “I focus on what’s happening in my household. I rely on my wife a lot. Anything else is not important right now. It’s fluff, unless it’s important to my wife and daughter.”
The preoccupying question for Barron seems to be “what’s next” as he contemplates the coming steps in fatherhood. His daughter, Mia, is ten and among the oldest and tallest of her 4th-grade class. As is natural with that stage, early childhood interests start to give way to new aspirations and a more mature personality starts to emerge. “Her wings are starting to show,” as Barron puts it.
“She’s very smart,” he continues. “I let her do. She’s not talking about things, she’s doing them. She’s experimenting. Test it out – keep finding what you love.”
Initially, that interest seemed to be a career in law enforcement, first with the city police department and then as an FBI officer. To find other kids with a common interest, Mia posted flyers throughout her school advertising an “Investigators Club” that would meet downtown. When the day of the first meeting came and another student actually attended, Mia was caught unprepared. Her father used that as an instructive exercise: ask questions about what he likes to read; what he wants to learn; and what his ideas for the club would be. They also ate ice cream. Despite the learning opportunity, there was no second meeting.
“Now she’s a thespian,” Carlos said of his daughter. She recently brought home a flyer for the Wizard of Oz at the Tyler Civic Theatre. “She likes to sing, likes to dance, and loves music. My wife said she could be a DJ with her ear for music.”
As a father, Barron will be uniquely positioned to help provide guidance in that development, especially given his own history. He is one of the Tyler area sales representatives for Ben E. Keith, one of the nation’s leading food and beverage distributors. Barron felt that “being a sales rep was meant for me. Growing up in the family [restaurant] business, you know how to separate from the competition. You learn customer service and meet people where they are.”
This translates to taking a proactive, action-oriented approach rather than holding conversations, a direct mirror to the path he said his daughter was taking in approaching her developing interests. “My love language is action,” he said. Barron will often take his daughter to Sunday deliveries to “show her the why.” He said, “I show her to take action, take initiative, and solve someone’s issue. You can talk through it, but being there and showing up shows you care.”
Barron believes that call to action came from his family and their inherent work ethic as immigrants. “There were these natural connections to each other that couldn’t be taught,” he said. “It’s an innate motivation. Looking back, I didn’t know what we were doing but I knew we weren’t going to stop. There wasn’t much communication. I was the youngest, the lowest on the totem pole, so I had no idea why things happened, but I was okay. I was with my family. I didn’t ask. I knew we’d be okay.”
It has been a challenge for Barron to translate that experience to his daughter. There have been some false starts, like pushing for Mia to get involved in youth soccer. As Barron tells it, “That was a big blowup in my face, but we learned through experience.”
The background of a multi-generational, supportive family, however, still makes an impact on both Carlos and Mia. Barron told a story about recently being at a wedding of his wife’s cousin, whose dad went out of his way to try and have fun with guests of every age and help foster connections. He also spoke fondly of his own uncle, Alex Barron, who held a big brother and mentor role in Carlos’ formative years. “I think of the saying ‘be who younger you needed,’” he explained.
His greatest ally in entering the next phase – whatever it may be – is his wife, Andrea. “I trust my wife so much for her emotional intelligence. She’s who I lean on. We’re both in the trenches.” That support will be critical as Barron imagines that the path forward will have to be charted specifically for their family. “I don’t like to follow crowds,” he said. “Break a mold. I can’t relate to the TikTok . My wife and kid are different. Together we can run the world.”
Even if the future is unclear and the answers unknown, Carlos Barron has a pretty good idea about the direction to start with. “You’re catching me at a deciding point. What I did before won’t work in the long run. We’re all growing, especially my daughter. Finding ways to build confidence in her is something I’m trying to figure out,” he said. “I’ll be right there with her.”